38% of Americans Are Total Morons

The Coronavirus has been taking a toll on people all over the world, especially those who don't even have the virus or have a connection to someone who has it. Which says a lot about the world we live in and how crazy something can get blown up thanks to the media.

And just to prove what the power of a virus has on healthy people, look at the fucking stock market. As of February 28th, financial markets worldwide have fallen up to 12%. People are losing their minds, and thanks to what happened on Wall street, we get to throw a whole new label on this sickness. PANDEMIC.

Shit gets real when the P word gets thrown out. And thanks to that, it's even affecting American recreational activity. Which is consuming aggressive amounts of alcohol.

Way back when this disaster started and the name "Coronavirus" was released, I thought the same thing that millions of others did: "Ha, I bet this is a marketing campaign done by Corona". And there's even an episode of The Minnesota Rundown (Every Tuesday on Youtube, Spotify, and Apple) where I made a joke about Corona being behind it. I said the only way to cure it was to drink 12 Coronas and call Tony Romo on the Corona hotline:

EVERYONE was making these jokes, but who thought anyone would actually believe it??

Well according to a recent poll, 38% of Americans are refusing to drink Corona "under certain circumstances"... You're shitting me right?

If you think that they actually have anything to do with this, you should probably go back to 5th grade or stop hitting the crack pipe so much. Because a Mexican brewing company is not going infect people by drinking their beer. I mean how the hell are they going to keep making money off of loyal customers if they are dead? I think I'm more concerned with the overall intelligence of the American people more than a virus....

And I have a good feeling that the people who said this don't actually drink Corona. They probably drink organic vodka (which is actually good shit) with tonic water and a quarter inch sliced lime. Stay out of our polls you hard alcohol drinkers...

I had a Corona last night. I actually had about 6 of them. And outside of a killer hangover, I'm fine. Still a degenerate, but I'm fine. So please, for the love of god, don't let this pandemic hurt a great brewing company that is TOTALLY unrelated. Because they don't deserve it...

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