Holy shit, I spent today binging the infamous "Tiger King" documentary on Netflix... And boy do I have some takes on the low life human trash that made up 7 hours of full blown horsecockery. Let's just start off by saying that along with everyone else, I didn't know you could OWN 400 pound deadly cats, let alone put them on display in your own private zoo for profit. Believe it or not, that was least fucked up part of this entire series. I personally didn't think all of the conflict in this show was going to revolve around human beings. Remember that pivotal moment in The Walking Dead where other people became the enemies instead of the actual zombies? The same kind of thing happened here after episode 1.
Lets breakdown all of the terrible people that were made public thanks to this documentary:
The Tiger king himself. Does this look like a man who would get convicted of animal abuse and hire-to-murder? You're damn right it does. The combination of facial hair, face tattoos, and a bleach blond mullet scream all sorts of things starting with "a little too meth" and ending with "federal prison"... We're talking about a guy who married two dudes at the same time while feeding one of them enough drugs to completely go off the deep end (RIP Travis)... But it's okay, he married another young man 2 months later and invited his dead husband's mom to the wedding, and she showed up. Everyone in this show is just one big happy family!
On top of all that, he ruined his career by obsessing over murdering an animal rights activist... who was trying to rescue his animals... that he was murdering behind the scenes. But the beauty of being a business owner is that you can underpay your employees and embezzle from your partner in order to fund a run at President of the United States. Those "Elect Joe Exotic" condoms aren't going to pay for themselves!
Carol Baskin is a crazy cat lady on steroids. Every single thing this woman owns all the way down to her fucking coffee table decorations is cat related. Thanks to the loyal financial supporters of "Big Cat Rescue", she has enough money to afford her entire cat themed wardrobe that sits in her massive walk in closet. (Business tip: If you run a non-profit, you can set your own salary). But oh no, she's a real modern day Ghandi. She rescues tigers that are owned by a shirtless man who makes his own music videos and puts them in dog kennels.
And when she's not coughing up hairballs, she's out killing her ex-husband for more money that she can spend on Facebook videos and cat food for herself. She definitely did it. Who changes their husband's will to "Upon my disappearance" right after gaining power of attorney? Only people who are running from the feds or running from the mob after ratting everyone out do that. I'd say that Carol fed her ex husband to the lions, no pun intended... but thats actually what she did. She belongs in the clink right next to Joe.
Bhagavan "Doc" Antle
This is Doc, another weirdo who runs his own private exotic zoo, and boy is he an asshole. You'll find his sole patch and long-haired hippy look is the least shitty thing about this guy. This self-centered psychopath makes everyone call him "Bhagavan", which essentially means "the chosen one" in Hinduism... Buddy, you're not some savior, you hire women to wear slutty outfits while they slave for 10-12 hours a day at your so called "safari".
And want to know the fastest way to move your way up at the Myrtle Beach Safari? Have sex with the fat white haired fuck thats running it. Thanks to this documentary, I would hope the feds take a break from pestering corporate executives when they should be investigating Doc for sexual harassment and "Quid Pro Quo".
Right when you think someone with half a brain enters the picture to save the park, you find out that this guy is just as big of a scumbag as the rest of them. He drives around in a red Farari wearing his hat over a bandana like he's some sort of white trash hood rat. This scumbag and his swinger wife bring baby tigers into parties hoping that they will get laid by drunk chicks who want to boost their clout on Instagram. Jeff you slimy fuck. Did you know he's still wanted in Vegas? I know he probably no-showed his entire education, but you can't no show to court summons Jeffrey.
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