• Bossman

Has The Coronavirus Reached Minnesota?

No it hasn't, but it's close.


Two University of Minnesota students coming back from studying abroad in Europe have been self-quarantined. Before you shit your pants, just know that they both haven't shown symptoms. Although, they have both come in close contact with an infected individual. So thats kind of scary, but I'm no doctor. I'm barley a "journalist".


To the student's credit, this would be great. You don't have the virus, but you legally aren't allowed to leave your home. Which means the school will basically allow you to stay home all week until further notice... I'm legitimately jealous.


Do you know how beers I would drink in a single day? Episodes of the Masked Singer I would crush? The amount of times I would level up in COD? The answer is a lot to all of the above. And because you aren't actually sick, it's like playing hooky. Except the school is the one making you do it, not your dickhead friend Farris Bueller.


But how do you self-quarantine if you live with roommates? Someone like me who shares an apartment with others would inevitably be spreading it to them, so there would be no point.


Theres only two possible solutions to that...


Solution 1: You have to roll around the place in one of those plastic bubbles that people race in during period breaks or halftime shows. You can be mobile, but you are still contained:



Solution 2: You lock the patient in their bedroom and treat them like the little girl in the exorcist, without letting them leave. The only difference in this situation is that there is no 360 neck twisting, demonic possession, or aggressive puking. Only the common symptoms of Cova-19:


I'm glad that the U is taking the extra precaution with these girls and making sure that it doesn't spread. So lets knock on wood that we can keep it out of the land of 10,000 Lakes (Takes)... See what I did there?


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