I Think the MLB Wants Players to Be Fat

Please don’t ask me if I’m over it, because I’m not.

For those of you who haven’t been following the drama: The Twins best starting pitcher, Michael Pineda, has been busted for using “Performance Enhancing Drugs”. He had a family friend that recommended using this OTC drug to help him manage his weight.

I wasn't happy when I heard it Saturday. The blog didn’t lie, he really should be checking these things before he starts taking them. But on the flip side, the MLB should be more lenient on how they define these drugs based on the situation.

Let’s take a look at the life of an MLB pitcher: Your team plays at least 6 fucking games a week, which typically involves you sitting in a chair in the bullpen. And when you are pitching, your arm is getting all of the exercise, minus the light jog from the mound to the dugout, or the jog back to the bullpen when you get yanked.

And when you’re not playing, you find yourself on a plane or a hotel room if you are on the road. I would imagine eating out is also a common occurance.

So tell me this MLB, when a heavy guy like Michael Pineda is looking to drop a few pounds, how is he suppose to with such an intense schedule strength? I can imagine that having to do P90X in your hotel room isn’t the best way to make friends with the people below you.

I may be the first to claim this, but I think the MLB wants people to be fat. Forget Area 51, this conspiracy theory is much more worth investigating. Football and golf are tied for a close second, but Baseball leads the nation in large guys, and they just claimed another victim.

I’ll start the hashtag, don’t worry. #FreePienda

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