In Other News: Someone Named Jennifer Plans on Stealing My Money

It's been a real Tuesday, let me tell you that. For all of you asking me why I'm ordering checks, I'm well aware its 2020 and only Boomers write checks, but I had cut one for the charity we are helping. Who feels like a dick now? Probably you.


Anyway's when ordering my checks, I provided the basic information over the phone. Lickety split right? But of course nothing in my life can be that easy, so this was the surprise I found in the checkbook...



NOTE: Now you have my address, I don't care. Send me hate mail, preferably hand written.


What I find funny about the whole ordeal was that my bank not only assumed I was married, but also assumed my wife's name happened to be Jennifer. How in the wide wide world of sports that happens is beyond me. Is it a sign that my future wife's name is Jennifer? Was this God's way of telling me to narrow my search criteria to "Jennifer" when logging on Tinder at 3 AM after a night out? I don't think so... There are 3 possible options to explain this situation:


Option 1, Jennifer is a real person and is trying to scam me: I think Jennifer might be an actual person that is trying to scam me. Yes I've been to Vegas and yes I remember most of it, so we can rule that option out. But at some point down the line did I give the wrong info to a sketchy person? Is Jennifer actually some dude named Cody who lives in his moms basement? Gotta fund that professional gaming dream somehow I guess.


Option 2, Jennifer is a girl who is really obsessed with me and only wants to capture my attention in psychotic ways: Some could say I'm a guy worth obsessing over. Look at me, why else would I be doing #NoCutCorona... Jennifer might be that kind of girl who doesn't know how to say she likes you in a traditional way, so instead she hacks your checking account and throws her first name on your checks followed by your last name... Now I'm realizing Jennifer is definitely reading this blog and has my address...




Option 3, My doppelgänger wants to slowly become me: This is a little out there but I do have a doppelgänger that lives in Utah, maybe this is step one of her plot to slowly be a part of my life? Gina ----> Jennifer:




Honestly I don't really know what's going on, if you think you have an idea let me know before my entire net worth gets used to purchase a house in California.

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