Jack's Gram Spam: Week 4

What a time to be alive, its Christmas Eve, within a week of the end of the decade, and I'm still opening my DM's to people who give me outrageous prompts for to write about. Lets get into it:


What's more serious, a shark attack or a heart attack?

If it's a shark attack from the baby shark in that super catchy song, I would say that is less serious. Those cartoons are fucking adorable. Baby Shark do do do do do do baby shark... holy shit I need to stop.


In all seriousness I think a heart attack is more serious. Whats interesting is that sharks don't even like the taste of humans. They have the clear physical advantage (unless they are out of water with a harpoon going through their body). They can completely dominate humans in the water, but they don't even like the taste of us? They just take a leg or an arm, and then they just swim off. Like WTF?? Reminds me of the dumb kid who eats bugs. He has the clear physical advantage, ruins the bugs life, and then spits it out because the bug tastes terrible.


Stop posting David Dbroskis insta, you're not winning a fucking Tesla

Yell it louder for the people in the back! This guy is a fraud. I can guarantee that there will be a crazy coincidence that his buddy Chad, who vlogs in the hills, wins the Tesla. And then he pays David a "delivery fee" of $80,000 that he made off of a Youtube video tailored towards 15 year old girls. These giveaways are like clockwork that give them free clout. Welcome to 2020.


What do you have against Jews?

Nothing at all. The grey lines of comedy are pushing me back to the safe side.


Thoughts on the new Star Wars; also Sioux hockey is chilling at #1

I haven't seen the new Star Wars movie yet. And I can tell you now that when I do, my expectations will be lower the death valley. When you end a movie series as iconic as Star Wars, it's going to be really fucking hard to impress people. They can't see past the fact that you are ending it, so they will tear apart any effort you make to finish it in a reasonable way.


Take a look at Game of Thrones. That last season was a dumpster fire, the guys who wrote it got benched for the Star Wars movie because of it. So this movie has been doomed since day 1.


Also I'm pumped about the Sioux. They won a Natty my first year there, and let me tell you. Helping destroy the campus I pay 10s of thousands a year to walk on was one of the best nights of my life. I hope they can pull off another this year so I can re-live the rioting through my friends that are currently going there. Hell, I would go back for that. 100%.


The negative stigma on sluts

I don't really get why there is a negative stigma in the first place. If you really break it down, sluts are people that really enjoy doing something more than the normal person.


I enjoy playing golf more than the average person. Hell, sometimes I play 4 days a week. Somedays I play golf with people I know, other days I play with people I don't. I enjoy playing golf in the morning, afternoon, and even at sunset. And I really enjoy playing golf when I'm drunk, but I also enjoy doing it sober. With all of the golf I play, people don't ever judge me. Why judge sluts? (Actually I might know but it will throw off my whole argument).


Best Will Ferrel Movie, and why is it The Other Guys?

Loaded questions, a true Jack Leverentz special. I would say that The Other Guys is his best movie, except for when it's not.


In my opinion, it's gotta be Step Brothers. Will Ferrell really capitalized on the golden age of comedy, before PC comedy invaded our modern day movies. Whenever adults act like children, and they are good at it, you know you are in for a real treat.


I know this one was short, but it's 4:00 on Christmas eve. I have cookies to eat and white claws to drink.


Hope Everyone has a Merry Christmas! Thanks for reading.


-Bossman

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