#NoCutCorona Update (Featuring PA)

For those of you who watched the Sota Stream, you know how important this bit actually is to us. Its truly a 10,000 Takes original. If someone claims otherwise, there's about a 130% chance we are gonna sue em'. We have the best damn lawyer in the game (Billy Brew). To some it still doesn't quite make sense, when I was at Jounralist Jake's house the other day, his mother asked me if I was the reason her son looked homeless, and I confirmed it was true. I'm leading my troops into a battle with hygine, convenience, and most importantly sex appeal. And all of that for what? A bit, that's how much I care.

Also for those who think it's stupid or ugly, the one and only Antje Utgaard said she loved it and loves beards. I think that statement alone sends the opposition home with their tail between their legs. All of you #NoShaveNovember players step right out of my way, this isn't Detroit man, this is the Super Bowl.

Need someone to sell you cocaine out of a small beachside hut in Miami? I'm not your guy, but I look like I could be. After an extended Fat Boi Friday I decided that a Hawaiian shirt was the call today, and man did it take this entire jounrey to a whole new level. Also, I want to point out for some odd reason I decided to throw in hair gel for the first time in a month. I can PROMISE you it wasn't for the picture. I'm not Bubba, please don't associate me with doing that.

Jack Mason has an awesome first name as well as a killer hair combo. If you have't been waring lose fitting athletic wear since this whole quarantine started, you are doing it completely wrong. Hell I'd even take that statement a step further and say that if you are wearing anything that doesn't have an elastic band, you are doing quarantine wrong. Take that to the bank my lazy friends.

Coleman is making some great progress, although the beard seems to be growing at a much faster speed then his hair. The last time I saw Kyle in person his hair was down to his shoulders. At that time, I said he looked like a large cave woman who rides mammoths around the tundra searching for supplies. That image might not make sense to you, but if you saw him pre #NoCutCorona, you would understand.

Our friend Paul Allen joined the Sota Stream on Saturday and was introduced to #NoCutCorona. He might not have known it at the time, but he's basically a founding father of this entire challenge. He told us in the offseason he just lets it LOOSE and grows everything out. This quarantine is basically an off season from life for all of us. He also mentioned the "caterpillar" above his eyes will "hopefully blossom into a beautiful butterfly". Love the dedication to the bit P.A, keep up the great work!

~H O L Y S H I T M A N~ did that change in text put enough emphasis on how shocked I am by this wild look? Lets start with the hair...

There are only four things that could have happened to have hair like that:

  • He put 4 pounds of gel in there similar to Bubba on week 1

  • He accidentally took a shower with the toaster again

  • He huffed something that made every last hair on his body stand up

  • Its completely natural, which seems really hard to believe

And that beard?? You don't even need to wear a face mask on a cold, windy day. You got all the protection you need from Jack Frost.

Hey Bubba, thanks for sending me a picture from this last summer. We all know you got a haircut you quitter.

Its been confirmed that Journalist Jake is a Kirk Cousins look alike, but unfortunately Kirk only had a beard like that for like a few weeks in the fall. JJ might reach a critical decision where he continues with #NoCutCorona or shaves to impersonate the famous QB. Either way, moves will be made.

Nice Bates, Nice (minus the NDSU poster).

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