Sound the alarm, we have an emergency!
While I was casually wasting my life away by scrolling through Instagram the other day, I came across a bit of information that forced me to spit out the water I was drinking (not really but it’s fun to imagine).
THEY ARE GOING TO TEAR DOWN OUR DINKYTOWN!!
Obviously, I was quite distressed, and I proceeded to research the crisis IMMEADIATELY. Seriously people, forget about the Amazon (actually don’t, oxygen is important), and open your eyes to the real problem on our home front. Personally, I have fond memories of wandering into McDonald’s, waiting in line, and inhaling two McChickens at 1am on a Friday night. Now I’ll be honest, most of those memories are pretty fuzzy, but that doesn’t matter because it’s the way the place makes you feel that matters. Sure it’s a little greasy, but it’s home and it’s Minnesota. It’s priceless. We can’t just hand over what could be argued as one of the Seven Wonders of Minnesota.
Anyways, here’s a little extra context to justify our intense reaction: The Infamous Dinkytown McDonald’s, Five Guys, Dinkytown Wine and Spirits, and Pagoda will be replaced by a 25-story apartment building. YUCK. I mean honestly are you kidding me?
So, who are they?... Who cares who they are? All you need to know is we are about to lose a staple of Minnesota culture. I don’t really give a shit what greedy businessman with sleazy hands is trying to pry away a place with more collective memories than there are fish in Minnesota. That being said, if you would like to send them an angry email or loudly protest outside of their office the company name is CA Ventures (Please be reckless yet responsible with this information). On top of that, CA Ventures is based out of Chicago so they could literally care less about our state outside of tax laws and business regulations.
Now I know what you’re thinking. They aren’t tearing everything down, just a portion. Well here’s my rebuttal: If we give any of it away, they will never stop coming back. They’ll be back in two years with another proposal to destroy more of this sacred land. Think about the history of greedy people and the general track record proves me right.
Gather your friends, your neighbors, the guy or girl in the cubicle next to you, your group members in psychology class, literally anyone prideful of Minnesota, and save OUR Minnesota Dinkytown!