©2019 by 10,000 Takes 

Your Damn Right I'd Go to Jail For a Week to Be Relieved of My Student Debt

I'm honestly not sure why this is even a discussion, or even a debate if you want to call it that. All I know, is everyone and their mother on Facebook is answering the question: "Would you spend a week in jail if you didn't have to pay back any of your student loans when you got out?"


From what I've heard, jail is horrible. But is it bad enough that you wouldn't spend a week there to alleviate you from the crippling debt that will be weighing down your wallet for the next 10+ years? (for those of you who went to college and don't have debt, fuck you).


When it comes to these scenarios, there's always questions that I have to ask first:


1. Are we talking jail or like federal prison? Maximum security?


2. What did I do to get in there? Typically this affects the way you are treated if you know what I mean.


3. What part of the country are we in? Midwestern jails have to be a lot better. People here are the most friendly, even in jail.


Here's my take, I would absolutely do it. Not even a question. A week? I would do a month. Having debt is like being in financial jail all the time. If I could get out of that for just a week of getting chirped at by the guards and be served shitty food I'm all for it.


To strengthen my argument, I have compiled a list of pros that result being thrown in jail:

  • Free rent

  • Free food

  • Free utilities

  • There is nothing better to do then get jacked, so you get a lot more of that "time you never have" to hit the gym.

  • Ease of mind: You don't have any responsibility in there. All you have to worry about is surviving.

  • Networking: You might meet some pretty powerful people in the slammer. It's probably safe to say that their area of expertiece isn't legal, but it's still opportunity.


I'm not denying that jail sucks. All I'm saying is that for the amount of debt I'm in, I would take that deal in a heartbeat. 100%.